There may come a time in the future when one or both of your parents face transition. Their health is failing, or their memory is. Or maybe they can no longer care for their home or themselves adequately. It is likely that many of us will be involved in helping our parents or other loved ones transition to a situation that better meets their needs.

For some of us the time in quickly approaching, while for others the process is far off. Even others already have become their parent’s advocate in the aging process.

“But I don’t have any idea how to go about this enormous task!” you say. “Where do I even start?”

Alice Kalso’s book, Eldercare SOS: Facing Hard Choices with Hope, is an excellent companion for anyone facing this assignment. We’ll talk about the challenges, the resources, and the process of walking with our loved ones through the transition over the next few months in one blog post per month. As the author says, “”First you will gain a better understanding of your loved one and yourself. Second, you will learn to assess their needs and identify the appropriate health care services available. Last, you will build your confidence as an advocate, even to the end of life.”¹

In Part One, Kalso calls the reader to know their parent, to know themself, and to be prepared.

We read in chapter one that loss and loneliness are two issues that many elderly face. Included in the losses might be loss of control if they ae not allowed to be involved in decisions about their lives. Kalso encourages us to keep the lines of communication open with our loved ones and to really listen to their concerns and ideas.

In chapter two we look at ourselves, considering what life will be for us in this new role with our loved one. We likely have had no training for it, and it may have come upon us unannounced. We start out as an influencer, providing advice they’ve asked for or helping them with chores. As their needs increase we become their advocate. The author encourages us as we find ourselves as advocates, saying “…our new role will require all the faith and pereverance we can muster. But we are not alone. God will carry us. God will use our missteps, too. But not without tears.”

We are not alone. God will carry us.

Kalso gives us counsel on the kinds of help we will need as the advocate for our parent in chapter three. She talks about the team of people we will want around us—both professionals who work with seniors and church friends who care about our loved one.

Having known Alice Kalso since our freshman year of college and following her career as a journalist and, for 25 years helping families grapple with the issues of elder care, I was excited to read her book when it came out last year.

I love this book on so many levels.

  1. It is thorough. Kalso brings the reader a full range of information that will be needed to do the job of advocate with grace and confidence.
  2. Many stories of people Alice worked with over the years are included as illustrations, putting human skin on the complexities faced by seniors and those who care for them.
  3. She is vulnerable and shares her own family’s story with transparency and great respect.
  4. Her resources are so helpful.
  5. Alice Kalso has compiled what most of us would not know we even needed. It is a tremendous service to those who find themselves needing what she has to offer.

I wish you peace as 2021 closes and hope and joy in 2022.

Ginger

Disclaimer: It was my own idea to write monthly blog posts about Elder Care SOS: Facing Hard Choices with Hope. I am not being paid to do so. I believe that this book is appropriate for readers of Salt & Pepper: Life & Faith for Boomers & Beyond, as we may find ourselves helping our parent or other loved ones through this transition. It may also be helpful to us as we consider our own future.

¹Kalso, Alice. Elder Care SOS: Facing Hard Choices with Hope (pp. 12-13). Elk Lake Publishing, Inc/. Kindle Edition.

You will find my book review of Elder Care SOS: Facing Hard Choices with Hope and read Alice Kalso’s bio here.

To purchase Elder Care SOS: Facing Hard Choices with Hope, click here.